Exercises in Concision

In the aftermath of my rants about David Weber's verbosity, I mentioned the growing art form of the uber-short story. Eric challenged me to try it.

Supposedly, Earnest Hemingway once took a bet that he couldn't write a six-word story, complete with beginning, middle, and end. His attempt: "For sale. Baby shoes. Never worn." He won.

And if he could do it, I can...make an idiot of myself imitating him.


Six-words:

Suspense: Waiting for home pregnancy test.

"No bed!" screamed baby, then collapsed.

Which came first: neglect? Or tantrums?

Humpty Dumpty: His rise and fall.

Pooh's death scene: Morbid. And funny.

Adolescence: Drama, boys, school, boys, drama.

Grocery list: Cheap carbs, guilt, chocolate.


Twenty-five words (or less):

.......Once upon a time, Mom hired a dwarven contractor to build her castle. He peculated. The substandard roof collapsed. He died. No castle. Mom pouted.


......."I'm pregnant," she announced. "Happy birthday. Even though I have no idea how it happened, and it's totally all your fault!"


.......See Jane confess. Confess, Jane, confess!
......."I didn't do it!" said Jane. "I--Waaaah!--Yes, I did!" she cried.
......."Aha!" cackled Dick, at the rack.


Hardly an epic novel, but it was fun! And further proves that David Weber could trim. A lot.