Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Silly Poems in Fifteen Minutes

Yesterday, I was in charge of Family Night.

Though I was sorely tempted to play a version of Simon Says called "Let's clean up the library!" I refrained.

Instead, I gave everyone fifteen minutes to write a silly poem. (One person claims he didn't hear the "silly" part of the assignment.)

And no, I did not cheat and plan my topic in advance. My original intent was for everyone to write a prompt and then exchange. That got voted down, so I picked my own subject, but without warning.

The kids wanted a reprise of a ditty I wrote last month while sick with, ah, digestive issues, but I pointed out that Grandma Homer might actually read this, so I'll be classy and not post it.

Bonus points if you can figure out who authored which verse.

And remember: this isn't Great Literature. We only had fifteen minutes!

Entry the First:

Sammy likes lots of spikes and as he chews he has some news "I am you you are me who wants to swich she and he"!? Gargleblaster at your serves sir and I am a pooper!

Entry the Second:

Pretty Mommy
How I love her
I want to be with her for eternity

Entry the Third:

I have a pet turtle,
A megaboss too,
The former is purple,
The latter is blue.

The turtle is sleeping
For nieghbors inside,
The megaboss wanted
Himself zombified.

A megaboss turtle
Is coming to you,
But I am now worried
Of megaboss flu.

Entry the Fourth:

We have a very messy house
'Cause no one likes to clean,
So on the floor stuff piles up
and stacks begin to lean.

It's getting hard to navigate;
I cannot see the floor;
Ahoy! Avast! I cannot see
the shore, nor find the door.

The other day, I dug around
and saw some lice, and scabies.
Tomorrow, I will mount a search
and try to find the babies.

If people don't start doing chores,
I'll do something extreme,
like leave and join a different team,
or -- Oh! 'Twas just a dream!

--[Editorial note: the house, while genuinely messy, is not bad enough to warrant calling child services.]


Heather said...

Oh my gosh. Love it!!

And I think the idea of playing Simon Says to clean up the library was just as brilliant.

Maybe next time. ;)

Anonymous said...

As the exhausted owner of a big house myself, I extend my sympathies to the residents of the house in Texas described herein.

Although I must say that having Sammy around to hunt for would make house cleaning more fun than just cleaning with no entertainment/reward value involved. Maybe this summer Sammy could hide in my basement while I work my way with the duster, searching for the young lad.
Grandma Homer

Jon said...

I hope none of you are disappointed now that I didn't go with poetry as my career choice. I liked Eric's and Danny's poems, but Gail made us all look bad.

Gail said...

@ Heather. Aww, thanks!

We have played "Simon Says" clean-ups before, with good success. Also "alphabetical clean-ups" (where, if I forget to order "Pick up the DVDs," I can always recycle it as "organize the movies."

Gail said...

@ Mom -- Jon is done with school and we're starting to get caught up! Slowly.

I think your idea with Sammy sounds adorable. He likes to play peekaboo with us, and also with his bottle.

"Baba," he calls, whilst instigating a search pattern. His phonemes are indistinct, but his tone of voice is highly imitative of "Yoo hoo...where are you?" followed by "There you are!"

Gail said...

@ Jon -- I notice that nobody has tried to guess whose was whose. Do you wish publicly to claim the blank verse? I bet you could do one that rhymed of you tried.