Monday, May 19, 2008

Best Mommy Moments: October, 2007

      Today Danny was on the computer and deleted some of Eric's saved games. Now, this is a justifiable grievance on Eric's part. I sympathized and said I understood that he was angry. But Eric's proposed solutions included:
      1) Building a time machine. (To prevent it from ever having happened.)
      2) Squashing Danny. (To prevent it from ever happening again.)
      3) Evicting Danny from our family permanently. (See above)
      4) Making Danny get married so Danny would join some other family. (After his repressive Mommy outlawed #2 and #3.)
      5) Confusing Danny by teaching him the wrong way to spell "delete" so Danny wouldn't push "delete" on purpose. (After Mommy explained about eternal families in response to #4.)
      He said, "Actually, I am confused about whether Danny did it on purpose or not. But I am trying to trick you into thinking Danny did it on purpose so you will give him a consequence."

"Mommy, I am Up To Something. I have a Plot!”
--Eric. (I never discovered his cunning plan.)

Mommy! Ewic isn't wespecting my agency!”
--Danny, whining.

"I didn't expect to give the 'Yes, but there are Conventions that must be Followed and we must Show Our Work, now, Musn't We?' speech to a six-year-old.”
--Gail, after trying (unsuccessfully) to convince Eric to show his work instead of merely solving algebra problems in his head.

Gail: [listening intently to Danny babble] Jon, I think Bear just had a sex change. Should this concern us?
Jon: [drowsily] Nope. Perfectly normal for Bears. [Goes back to sleep]
--(I did have a talk with Danny later.)

"EWW! I thought Bear would, you know, hand me a napkin or something. But, NO, he LICKED me!”
--Gail, after Bear offered to “help” clean up the sticky chocolate all over her face.

No comments: